“Oh my word, they learn so much more when they’re either seeing coaching or being coached, than when they’re in class taking notes and just listening.”
That realization hit me again recently while teaching a group of brand-new coaches. For the first two weeks, we focus on demonstration—I coach while they observe, then we discuss what happened. Later, they break into rooms, where one becomes the coach and the other the client.
The difference in their learning is remarkable. While classroom instruction has its place, there’s something uniquely valuable about witnessing coaching happen in real time that simply can’t be replicated through theory alone.
This pattern of experiential learning doesn’t just apply to beginners. As a seasoned coach myself, I still have powerful learning moments when observing others. I regularly find myself thinking, “Hmm, I love that question,” or “Oh, I never thought about doing it that way.” These fresh perspectives keep my practice evolving and prevent stagnation.
What’s been particularly interesting in my recent work with new coaches is deliberately setting aside any formal assessment. Rather than listening primarily for the core coaching competencies—which certainly have their value—I’m showing up with the curiosity of a new student again.
There’s something powerful about letting go of the structured things we’ve been told to listen for and simply paying attention to the natural flow. The conversational nature of coaching, the way people authentically relate to each other—these elements make a profound difference that’s often overlooked in formal training.
For experienced coaches, this presents a worthwhile challenge: How do we set aside our accumulated knowledge and expertise to bring that beginner’s mind to our observations? It requires a deliberate decision not to be the expert in the room, but to position ourselves as fellow learners—always open to surprise.
What drew many of us to coaching initially was precisely this quality of natural, unscripted conversation. While I deeply value competencies and frameworks, there’s something refreshing about reconnecting with that original attraction—coaching as an unpredictable art that can’t always be clearly defined but is unmistakable when experienced.
Whether you’re at the beginning of your coaching journey or have been practicing for decades, I encourage you to create regular opportunities to both observe coaching and be coached yourself. Set aside what you think you know, embrace genuine curiosity, and allow yourself to be surprised by what unfolds. In these experiences, far more than in any classroom, is where the deepest learning happens.